Wednesday, 24 June 2015

Turn on, Tune in, Drop out...

It’s been a week of ups, downs, drunken mistakes and sober pleasures. A mix of ridiculous happiness and soulful sorrows, turn-ons, turn-ups and finally, turn-offs.

Billed as “The Huge Turn Off” the commercial; starts with Alanis Morrisette sitting on a huge leather airplane seat clipping her toe nails as she explains about Earth Hour, a time when we can all turn off our lights for an hour and by doing so we will put pressure on all those nasty none green companies. Maybe it’s just me but there seems to be some kind of disconnect here. Are they supposed to be so impressed by a show of mass power, excuse the pun, that they will immediately stop doing bad things to the environment? Maybe all those years of marching up and down roads waving CND banners has made me a tad cynical about the power of the people. Anyway, it’s a pleasant enough spot for the WWF by Leo Burnett, switch onto it at: before everyone switches off, tonight.

A much bigger turn off for those of us who enjoy nothing better than suspicious cow parts squeezed between two skanky bits of bun is the new ad for Arby’s. In a bid to find a new way to mess up the good old burger Arby’s have created the new roast burger, never fried, never greasy. The burger done better. (done better than the grammer did anyway).
To celebrate this devastating invention the ad agency, Fletcher Martin, commissioned artist Phil Hansen to demonstrate how greasy other burgers are by drawing with the them on greaseproof paper. In what is described as a “trans fat on paper masterpiece” he recreates the Mona Lisa, or Mona Greasa as some wag has named it. It’s amusing in a children playing with food kind of way and just tasteless enough to make you watch it. Get a mouthful at:
Or better still visit their own website and win a delicious roasted Arby burger, although you’ll probably have to pay for postage and someone att the post office will most likely eat it, which will serve them right.

Leaving a much more dubious taste in the mouth is the new Ford commercial from JWT Sydney. It’s a corporate ad, which means it’s not selling you a product, it’s selling you a company ethos. Exactly. It’s one of those ads that ramble on about soul searching, making nebulous analogies to the freedom of the road and the freedom of travelling around in a 16 tonnes of metal at high speeds. This one is particularly tasteless as it employs Writer fallback position 3, or when you’re stuck without an idea nick a famous song or film track or, as here, a well-known poem. Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken,” one of the most hippy-abused pieces of nonsense since “Desiderata” is read over a series of shots of some young bloke wandering roads and doing crappy macho work on boats and interfering with sheep. It’s all very idyllic and has bugger all to do with cars, still you can get a glimpse of it at

Or, to add a dash of Culture to your life you can see the tiresome old git read it himself at:
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference….”
It’s hypnotic, if you can stay awake.

Staying awake through the latest Nike commercial is no problem if you’re a fan of Eva Longoria, Sofia Boutella, Fernando Torres, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Rodger Federer.
In an attempt to reinvigorate the eternal battle of the sexes Nike have launched a “Men vs Women” challenge. If the ad is anything to go by it’s all about running up and down pavements and being a general pain in the arse, or being a jogger as it’s known. (Why is it that the Walk/Run for life people have to move 3 or 4 abreast down our roads? And what’s with the obliue slash thing? Do they change their minds as they go, “Do I run or walk…?”.) Famous people are seen running up and down pavements in that mildly competitive way that Americans are cultivating.
Run the ad down at::
It comes with a rather pleasant racy track by Mr Gnarls Barkley.

Some young guys are chatting outside of an office. An older guy appears, obviously the boss, and calls one of them over.
“Kevin, can we go for a coffee…”
As the horror of the phrase sinks in we cut to a montage of set ups over a coffee as the boss declares:
“You’re fired…
I love you, I’ve said it,
We need to fake your death
(He strokes his face singing softy),
You have a wonderful body. I’ve made a sculpture of you…
You’ll be based in North Korea.”
Kevin comes to his senses and, to avoid such caffeine driven nonsense suggests:
“Why don’t we go grab a Dare iced coffee.”
Super up line: “The coffee moment, without the moment.”
It’s beautifully paced and funny without being sentimental, just what you’d expect from Mr Warren Brown and his team of strangeness at BMF Sydney. Take a hit at:

Imagine you’re a mini-cam and you’ve fallen into the hands of a Dutch creative team at Grey Amsterdam just as they’re confronted by a TV brief for Lactacyd, pH balance products for intimate feminine hygiene. The results are fairly predictable, but no less bizarre. A day in the life of a lady is seen from what could be described as “a tampon’s eye view,” it’s 30 seconds of film you may not want to watch too often. Catch an eyeful at:
It’s a tad unnerving for a chap, and for a chappette too as my art director proves, muttering knowingly about “gritty realism” while hiding her tousled blond hair behind her blood red nails.
Time to turn off the brain.

No comments:

Post a Comment