Wednesday, 24 June 2015

All together, now?

When Mr Gates decreed that there was now a Global Village and that no matter where we thought we lived we were all fully paid up citizens, no one really understood the consequences. In the ensuing melee Globalisation has become many things, from the White Knight of the finance markets to the devil incarnate of conservation groups.

In adland it has caused its own brand of chaos as clients stumble about trying to create global messages that are as relevant in Reykjavik as they are in Mombasa. The majority have taken the easy way out, dismantling their core Brand ethos to a simplistic series of words and images that are hopefully recognisable wherever the consumer is viewing them. It’s hit and miss stuff, to put it nicely.

Global world is as brim full of smiley happy people as a crap REM song. They jump and sing and bounce around like a land full of Irish red setters, all playfully bouncing into the furniture and being improbably giddy. Ford World in 2006, for instance was bumper to bumper waving families and fawning lovers woven together with an irritating Charlotte Church ditty, it’s all most too much to watch especially when you reflect upon where it was all headed. Still if you like them big and bouncy park your brain at:

Global is now a bad word in many parts of the planet, especially the parts that are feeling the heat. Warming and warnings thereof are quite the rage at the moment, which naturally makes them perfect for adland to get up and shout about. Even the Ad Council has a crisis ad of their own floating in the stratosphere, and it’s ok, I mean, not earth shattering or anything, but fine. Have a look at:

Combating melting ice-bergs and the like has become the responsibility of every one of us, including, rather improbably, the makers of Vogorsol Gum who employed several penguins and that well-known arctic squirrel to help solve the problem. It’s a tad odd, no it’s weird, but thank god there’s still a place in the world for this type of ad. Look on in amazement at:

More annoyingly the backlash to Bill’s Global Village has lead to a resurgence of the lunacy of jingoism that parades around the world in the emperor’s clothes of patriotism and national pride.
Indignation at being preached to by foreigners about how we should behave at home often seems to reach xenophobic proportions since those rather gentile days of the Polish sci-fi writer Stanislaw Lem. Enveloped in her red, silk wrap-around sarong dress and waving her Soviet leather handbag in my direction, my own ex-art director often throws a handy quote from him in my direction.
“You will always find, some Eskimo willing to instruct, the Congolese on how to cope, with heat waves,”
Twee, but to the point, as she so often is.
Then again maybe a little international criticism might save us from stuff like the Castle love-in where everyone is best mates and brothers, take a sip at:, it has a nice pack shot at the end of a bouncing bottle cap.

In the future things will be different, for a start we won’t have a planet to mess up and we’ll live in a very bright post-nuclear Winter. Maybe. Either way at least we won’t have to hear sing-a-long predictions of the ilk produced by Pat and Barbara MacDonald, aka: Timbuk3, back in the crazy days of 1986 in their classic, ”The future’s so bright I’ve gotta wear shades.” Listen, hopefully for the last time at:

When we fail, the earth, of course, according to all good sci-fi geeks the world will be run by robots who will take turns persecuting the remains of mankind with devilish tin-brained schemes. As with a lot of sci-fi, yesterday’s nightmare futures have already begun to form before our eyes, in this case with the ASIMO humanoid robot. First introduced to humans in 2000AD the ASIMO has since grown in its abilities and can now walk and run after unsuspecting people-kind, albeit only our Japanese cousins for the moment. If you’re the type of person who likes to watch their fellow man tormented by non-organic life-forms then the Honda commercial starring ASIMO won’t seem alien to you, see it at:

Laugh all you want, it may seem like an improbable and unlikely future, then just a few years ago a desktop was somewhere you sat your typewriter and glass of Jamesons.

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